and i've been writing a lot...and i'm starting to wonder if my characters are rubbing off on my attitude, or if what i'm writing is from my heart...if its from what i feel. All its been lately is these lonely, lonely lonely drabbles...just sorrow, favorite characters facing such struggles. but they get through them...and most would tell me that because they can do it i can do it.
but im sick of people telling me how i should feel
telling me i'll get through it
telling me i'm normal
telling me nothing is wrong
that i have nothing to worry about
because i want to listen to myself for a hot second. i've been hearing what ive been trying to say but not LISTENING. i need help...real help, professional help. i need to work on myself and try and try to get rid of this depressing shit inside me thats holding me back i need to sit down and talk to someone and unload everything i'm hiding and let them know that i am scared...and that i want real answers. i want to be told theres something wrong so then i'll know when to fucking fix it.
ive been watching steven universe hella lately and i feel like a fusion...fell like 2 halves, but neither of them are truly ME and theyre constantly pulling at eachother. i just...want to be okay. but the first step to fixing a problem is admitting you have one.
(EDIT: also, i'm calm, but comments are pissing me off so unless you have some actual fucking advice that isn't stupid bullshit, i recommend not saying a word unless you want to get your head bitten off)